SONGZ4U: Youth Music Fer Ya Old Ass

There are two things about music that I know, that are FACTS. 

The first is that I fucking HATE Jason Mraz. Also maybe Michael Boob Lay, or whatever the fuck dirty ass last name that bitch got going on. I honestly thought they were the same person. Hearing their glib, patronizing love songs gives me BOTH a Puke, JR AND a Hard Barf™. I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM SO MUUUUHUHUHUHHHHHCCCCHHHHH god I hate them. 

The other thing I know is that the thing that makes you OLD, that categorizes people who seem old and act old and become the thing they're afraid of - you know, of being old and irrelevant - that thing is when you stop being curious and trying new things. The oldest people I know are the people who keep listening to the same records they listened to when they were 21. The oldest things I hear people who shouldn't be so goddam old say are things like, "there's no good music right now," or "I really hate everything on the radio." 

I mean... truth. There is so much bad out there. But there was when you were young, too and you either just don't remember it or you've folded it into the layer cake of nostalgia that nourishes your soul. I get it, like, there's so little time, why not listen to shit you like. Sure. But also you need to stay fresh, stay nimble and, like, try something new every so often. 

Though Youth Culture is terrifying, its terrain rocky and fully of treachery, don't panic, my old-ass homie! Here at HOT TRASH Worldwide Headquarters (my apartment) we've hired an expert team (me) to curate some of the best NEW, POPULAR music that The Youths are listening to but that will ALSO APPEAL TO OLDS so that you can be sorta on top of your shit and speak to Youths without fleeing in fear. 

This week I bring you a playlist! It's called "Youth Music Sorted Neatly For Olds" and you're gonna love it. This week we've got a dance-inducing, rnb vibe because it's spring and that's just where my ass goes when it's fucking spring. Here, eat it, it's good for you: