WTF Should I Do Tonight: Hot n' Ready Weekend Edition!

Dude. I'm making changes. I realize that as the proprietor of an internationally famous web-based literary enterprise, I should explain myself and like thank my readers and shit, but you know what? Nah. I'm good on that. Figure it out yourself. OR DON'T! Who cares!

I went away for a few weeks. I did an art show. I slept a little. I got a new job. I bought some new underwear. I learned some shit. I thought a lot about the state of the world, the racism, the terror, the hate, the fear, the bigotry, the misogyny, the greed and the corruption and Facebook and Amazon and the grand glamour that we're living in. I considered it all, long and hard.

Here's where it all came down for me:

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Look, I know, I know. I'm mostly kidding. But I just feel like with the shit that we're all going through right now, I mean if I have to really internalize one more atrocity, one more opioid death, one more fucking school shooting, one more person being a racist dick, one more instance of domestic violence, one more rape, one more war, one more SPLIT SECOND in which I have to listen to THAT BLOATED ORANGE DILDO'S fucking voice that makes me sick to my stomach, I just... look, I need a break. I KNOW THAT'S MY PRIVILEGE SPEAKING. I KNOW. Most people don't get breaks. I won the birth lottery. I know.  

But I just... I just need to go bowling. Metaphorically. I am actually a terrible bowler in real life.

Oh yeah, also some shit around here also changed, scooch around in the main menu and have a gander. Look, I don't decide where wind blows, I just follow it, ya dicks.

Friday April 20

It's 420 brraaahhhhhhhh! TOOOIIIGGHHHTTT!!! Everyone's having their weed themed events tonight, and I'll tell you what, this is the oldest thing you're ever going to hear me say:

Ya know, I just cannot really smoke weed in public anymore. One time I got kicked out of the Bowery Ballroom because I was tripping balls and I went up to the bouncer and said, "Hey dude check it out, watch me fly down these stairs!" Anyway, yeah, the only time I can smoke weed now is if I'm like, cleaning my bathroom on a Sunday morning and listening to records I know really really well. I aged, it happens! 

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Here's what I suggest if you venture out (I myself have a flu-ish sort of thing and will only be leaving the house for a birthday party at another house). I like these monthly Gravity Sessions at Apohadion. They're part of a growing trend toward variety shows, and I love a variety show. This one has poetry for national poetry month, music, video art and visual art. Kewl.

Rick Rude, Edgar Clinks and Nice Life are at Hella Good Tacos. There is so much good music there and I am still so mad at them for so many "we're out of pico" moments. Death by a million avocado-based sleights.

What is this flannabis thing? It's fun to say "flannabis." Everybody seems to love Gina and the Red Eye Flight Crew, and they're at PHOME tonight with Hambone.

Want the rest? Go to the calendar, bubba.

Saturday April 21

If you slept on getting your They Might Be Giants at State Theatre or Fleetwood Mac tribute thing at PHOME tickets, you're shit out of luck guy cuz they're both sold out. Makes you feel left out, doesn't it. That's how they getcha. There is, however, a chance to see TMBG at the Bull Moose in Scarborough during the day at their in store, but I suspect you're going to have to be camping out all night or some shit to get in there. Or you know, maybe not, gen x-ers have gotten real fat and lazy, we don't really stand on lines anymore. We're the new baby boomers or something. OIL RULES SOMEONE GET ME A REVERSE MORTGAGE! 

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There's a TMBG after party at Geno's, tho, with Radio Wonderland and Korovyov. So go to that.

They've got some deep nerd shit for you called Palaver Strings over at Mayo Street Arts though. It almost reads like a comparative study in violin technique. Sometimes I wish I had not been so fucking bad at playing music so I could understand this shit more deeply.

In the most Mathews band move that a Mathews band has ever made, they just have a Facebook event called "Tba," and then the description just says, "angel slayer." You fucking dicks. This kind of "cleverness" is neither charming nor useful. Probably be a fun, dumb party tho. Bring cash for surliness! 

For the rest of Saturday's shenanzies, check out the calendar, my dudes. 

OKEH BEBBIES you know the drill don't drink and drive no not ever do not ever do it in fact just be careful generally when drinking be kind, tell each other you love one another, hugs all around (with consent, always get consent for huggies unless you already know the person's position on hugging!) don't touch other people's hair whether they're black, white, pink, brown, olive, and especially not if they're orange because that shit is toxic stay away from orange men and also you know what while we're on the subject don't ask women if they're pregnant if you don't know and also never touch a pregnant lady's belly in fact don't ask she'll offer if she wants you to touch her belly and don't touch a man's chest or stomach either without consent and generally be conscious of people's boundaries ok please and thank you and have a great weekend i love you more than i love huge hoop earrings and that is saying a lot because i friggin' love hoop earrings ok dinglerods xoxoxoxox4lyfe.