What The Fuck Should I Do Tonight: Weekend Edition!

oh haaaaay boo! 

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I have nothing clever or interesting to say to you today, ehhhh surrrry.  Even if I did tho, nothing matters, so. HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND! 

Friday September 22

Ghosts of Johnson City kick off the evening early at Blue. Later at Blue you’ve got Ari & Mia and Sassquatch.

Strange Machines, one of about six zillion bands who are “steadily making a name for themselves” and who have “played with the likes of” are at PHOME with Revibe. Non-Musics, take a break; Musics, listen up: if u serious about u muzaks, hire someone to write you a bio that doesn’t fucking use the phrases “making a name for themselves” and “the likes of.” Any music writer worth hiz/her/their weight in Ford Econoline vans that smell like fartz won’t take you seriously with that shit in your bio.

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41 year old British art-/post-punk band Wire and guests Minibeast are at SPACE Gallery, but you’re too late, it’s sold out. This whole town is cooler than you and apparently has disposable income to spend on concert tickets!!! Ska dudedos El Grande are at week-old jello shot with an ironic moustache come to life Amigos. Some dork who must have a really well-compensated dentist named Jake Owen is at the Maine State Pier.   

Gogol Bordello is at the State Theatre! I don’t need to tell you why to go see this show, doofus.  

Uh, there’s a sock hop in South Portland? Hambone is at Bayside Bowl with Bandwich. I feel icky about how food-based both of those bands’ names are. ALSO, IS HAMBONE SOME KIND OF GROSS SEX EUPHEMISM? CONSTERNATION! Red Tide is hosting an equinox dance party for queer witches at Flask.  Leftover Paris Hilton brand hair extension Aura has goth night Plague. Riverton Diesel is at Salvage.

Eldemur Krimm is with MA band Banshee at Geno’s. Right now I’m working on editing a video for some friends of mine that has some shots of Krimm's Fred Dodge dancing with a golf club, so you’re welcome for that in advance.  

Saturday September 23

All Black Everything tonight at Zero Station features black artists exploring Afrofuturism with music, spoken and performing art and visual art, including James Swaka, Nyanen Deng, Hi Tiger, AFRiCAN DUNDADA, 32 French and Daniel Minter. Recently, like a well-behaved woke white person is supposed to, I listened to the This American Life about Afrofuturism, and at the beginning of the podcast, TAL producer Neil Drumming sort of off-the-cuff describes Afrofuturism thusly:

“It’s this way of talking about black people in a way that’s really hopeful. It’s just the idea that we would be engaged in the same kinds of things that science fiction writers have always talked about, that we would be engaged in technology, that we would have a future in space, that we would, you know, master time travel, that we would have a future in utopian or dystopian landscapes… the thing that’s really specific about Afrofuturism that I like is that it takes into account the past in a lot of ways, it imagines that black people have formed forms of survival through the slave trade, through persecution, that that’s almost a technology in itself - the ways in which we’ve come through those things, and everything that’s been a part of our culture has made it possible for us to pave the way for the future. That’s the thing I like about it, I think. The feeling like despite whatever trials or travails you come through, that you will exist in the future. It kinda makes me love being black. It makes me feel what I love about being black, like, oh yeah - we can get through this.”   

It doesn’t matter what I think of this, because you could argue that by telling you what I think I’m injecting my white voice over Drumming’s black voice, but that’s not my intention - I just really feel something from that quote, it makes me excited and hopeful.   

And speaking of Afrofuturism in a more oblique sense, David Liebe Hart is at the Apohadion tonight as well. I’m guessing you’ll want to get there early for this, as it’s so small in there and this will sell out quickly.

The Head and the Heart are at Thompson’s Point and I’ve come to learn that this band, a band who has made their bones by shouting “hey! ho!” while wearing hats and secondhand Frye boots or something, this band that has done this has an acronym that is apparently universally accepted amongst their fans as a way to which they may be referred. That acronym is THATH and seeing it used on the internet is making me want to never leave the house again. Anyway, since 2017 Portland is just 2004 Brooklyn, a band with the word “future” in its name is playing an afterparty for THATH at Brick South. Futurebirds. All bands must have the word future in their names now. On a scale of one to raw rhubarb, how bitter do I sound right now?

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Bruce Marshall is at Lenny’s.  Go dance at Flask to raise funds to fight ALS. Pete Witham and the Cozmik Zombies are at Bayside Bowl. Zeme Libre, El Malo and A Mighty Lion are at Empire. Rockin’ Bob’s Punk Band, Shore City, Lipstick Boys and The Long Year are at Geno’s. Amigos has a jam rock cover band called The Turnip Truck. Jerks of Grass are at Salvage.

Sunday September 24

El Shupacabra is on the roof at Bayside Bowl, Maine Craft Distilling on Washington Avenue has a little end of summer block party with Spencer Albee, The Mallett Brothers and Xander Nelson, and there’s a free event and concert to end gun violence at Thompson’s Point.  

RULES: NO FIGHT. NO DRINK AND DRIVE. YES TIPPING ALL THE SERVEPEOPLES. YES BEING KIND. YES HAVING FUN. To walk aside your favor, I'm an astuary king. Here is a video for the best song from that new bon iver album since all of you apparently go tickets to see him next month or whatever: