What the Fuck Should I Do Tonight: Weekend Edition!

Hello you beautiful tragedies, it’s me! Your friend and fellow patron of the arts, VK! I mean, things are pretty good actually, thanks for asking! Oh, this old thing? Why thank you green IS my color! You flatter me, you’re too kind! YOU. Get right on out of here, amirite?!

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Listen, I’m going on vacation next week, which I THINK is Labor day weekend? When the fuck is Labor Day weekend? I think it’s next weekend. Anyway, so next Thursday I’m off, but the Calendar will still be updated if you’re actually here and looking for something to do. I’m just sort of fatigued by my own writing voice right now, I’ve grown tired of ME. I need to go spend some time amongst the creatures of the forest and sea, eat watermelons for every meal, sing soft rock hits from the 70’s to myself without judgment and make space for an Autumn lover to come into my heart and my kitchen.



Before I go though, check out Music Video Portland. It’s a sweet ass video music awards show in the style of the MTV VMAs and it’s in January (townie peasants only, hooray!) and you will fucking love it. If you’re a musician or musician-adjacent, tell your people and get your videos submitted here. The submission deadline is November 15th. I’m hosting it and I’m hilarious and I’m even sort of kind of dieting for you people so that when someone snaps a pic of me on stage I don’t have like eleventysix chins that quiver like so many sweaty piles of day old mayonnaise under the hot par can lighting of One Longfellow Square. I care about you, you see.

OK. See you in two weeks motherfucker.

Friday August 25

As I’m sure you’re already aware, Elijah True has fucking bullshit cancer. I don’t know Elijah personally, but I am friends with him on Facebook and I can say with great confidence that he’s the most positive, strong, inspirational person in my social media world right now. Also he’s hilarious and warm and he seems to understand compassion for himself and others in a way that really moves me. SHUT UP I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING. They’re having two benefits for him this weekend because of course the medical expenses are life-demolishing. The first is at SPACE with Johnny Cremains, Mouth Washington, Ossalot and Cryptic Overcast.

Live at 212 has Thirteen High, Devil’s Nite Out, Spectrobot, Dirty Rotten Winter (every time I read that I see “dirty rotten wiener,” which would be an excellent all girl punk band name, get on that ladyplayers), Nova and Load in.  Wait a second… is “load in” a band? Or is it just that you listed a load in time on the event page? Jesus goddam christ. Although, I will say, Load In would be the most meta band name ever and now I feel like someone’s dad whose band plays Eagles and Springsteen covers at the local biker bar needs to name his band that.

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Blue has a pretty sweet lineup with Nate Soule and Clara Junken, El Malo and Eastern Sleds.

Simon Joyner, David Nance and Greg Jamie are at The Apohadion Theater.

Our own beloved Mosart212 opens for Bonobo at the State Theatre tonight. Meanwhile, over at Aura, Extreme is going to serenade your uncle Rick and his new girlfriend, mother of 3 and Harley owner Diane from Gorham like it’s 1991 and Nuno Bettencourt’s luscious locks and black nailpolish were the perfect antidote to the collective cocaine-induced hairspray bender known as the 1980’s.

The Noonday Crawlers and Jordan Kaulback are at PHOME.  Katie Matzell and Micromasse are at OLS. Crimewave, Trele the God and Fenimore are at Geno’s. Zeme Libre are at Slab. Tall Horse, Bison and Guthrie Galileo are at Bayside Bowl.

Saturday August 26

Mainely Folk are at Fore River Brewing in South Portland. The gent who plays guitar in this band, Pat, is one of the owners of the company I work for, and he’s a righteous dude.

My best friend Will from SeepeopleS is playing his solo stuff at Dogfish. SeepeopleS is known for having this big, full sound, but when Will plays solo you can really get settled into the fine detail and craftsmanship of his songs. It’s pretty incredible, he’s super gifted and has this really loveable mix of warmth, humor, melancholy and insight. Plus he does a rippin’ cover of “Karma Police.” Ok. 

John Nels is at the Munjoy Hill Tavern.

Prism Analog is doing another fundraising event at UFF, this time with Sea Level, Peach Hat, First in Maths, Lacuna and John Kyle.

Joe K. Walsh and Celia Woodsmith are at OLS.

BRZOWSKI and Ceschi Ramos are at SPACE Gallery. BRZOWSKI either just released or is about to release a new album which I admit I haven’t yet listened to. He’s one of the smartest and most skilled performers I’ve met up here and out of respect and history alone I can tell you that his new album is probably pretty dope. I mean seriously nobody works a room like fucking BRZOWSKI.

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Flask has a dance party called Medicine.  Summit and Singepole Mountain Band are at Bayside Bowl. Blue has jazz with the Michael Beling trio.

Sunday August 27

Get a late brunch at Bayside Bowl and listen to Mosart212 do his various mixings. Also there’s an early/sober/all ages house punx show in South Portland with Leash, Sunshine Ward and Combatant.

OK baby goobers, you know all the rules! We've been here before. Being good, being a good person, that means that we take care of each other, we have empathy for one another and we practice active resistance, we are kind, we are careful with each other's feelings, and we always tip our bartenders, but we never ever no not ever not even once drive drunk. Ok? ok! It's easy to be kind and good when you've got good folks around you. It's true! Everybody here is outta site! They don't bark, and they don't bite, they keep things loose, they keep things light, everybody was dancing in the moonlight! DANCING In the moonlight! Everybody feeling warm and right, it's such a fine and natural sight! Everbody dancing in the moonlight!

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