What the Fuck Should I Do Tonight: Weekend Edition!

O HAI TEAM!

This week, I’m not going to bore you with any of the usual new agey emo feminist bullshit I typically subject you to before getting on with the concert listings. But I want to invite you to come back early next week and join me for a deep dive into dating as a real human adult ladyperson in Maine, tentatively titled: PIZZA GHOST: THE WAY OF THE SELF-IMPORTANT MIDDLE AGED ALCOHOLIC BUTTHEAD. Enticing, no? You’ll read it. You’ll fucking read it and you’ll fucking like it goddam it. Or you won’t! Who gives a shit. Nothing matters.

 Here we see Pizza Ghost trying to get his one true love to come home with him tonight. 

Here we see Pizza Ghost trying to get his one true love to come home with him tonight. 

In the meantime, however, I’m asking for your help with something that DOES matter. Check it out:

I’m one of the sponsors for an event called Take Back Hope. This show is to raise money for Hope Acts, a nonprofit that provides recovery services for immigrants and addicts in recovery. The entire ticket price goes to Hope Acts. The show is at Bayside Bowl, it’s this Saturday starting at 6pm, and there’s so much fun stuff going on at it. Let’s review:

There’s a raffle with sweet ass prizes including two tickets to see Doug Stanhope’s sold out show at Empire, a Trader Joe’s gift basket, yoga classes from Hustle and Flow studio (the best yoga studio, not that it’s a competition), and a lot more! You get one raffle ticket with your $10 ticket, and you can buy as many as you want. Plus, Bayside Bowl is donating free bowling shoes to anyone who wants to bowl, so you just have to pay for the game and not the shoes. Tight. It’s a bunch of bands, because OBVS, but listen, they’re some of the best bands in the city right now, and you’ve got something for everyone. You’ve got SeepeopleS playing their only show in New England in 2017, Five of the Eyes (who crushed the Chris Cornell thing the other night, btw), Dustin and Renee’s wistful Pretty Sad (how often do you see a harp played live, honestly?), Kesho Wazo, the up and coming collective of artful youths who do a multimedia/music performance, Sea Level (Dan Capaldi’s dreamy solo venture), Joel Thetford (mournful Portland country by way of Texas), and Akela Moon fer yer funkz and yer jamz. Plus, you can dip upstairs to the rooftop to watch the sunset or look at the stars, and they even have a sweet new mini arcade with a Galaga/Ms. Pacman machine, and if you’re wondering if the old girl’s still got it when it comes to crushing Galaga, I can confidently tell you: she does. I challenge you to a game any time, and I will win that game.

Anyway, so, you should join us. 

Friday July 7

Model Airplane and the Nat Osborn band are at PHOME. This is one of these FB events that has two event invites going, the first because Ken is always on his shit as far as promotion goes, but the second because the band itself posted it. Anyway, if you go look at this fb event, you’ll see whomever the main dude is proudly baring his suuuuuuper hairy shoulders. Can we get this guy some propers for just going for it? This is like the dude equivalent of a ladyperson not shaving her legs or armpits, but baring them anyway. It’s bold and gives no fucks and I am fully showing up for it.

Black Plate, a band from California that self-describes as “damagerock,” which I find hilarious (to me they just sound like a melodic punk/metal/prog band which probably deserves a much better label than that so, kudos to damagerock then), are blowing through town doing a “secret” show at the rehearsal space at 111a anderson with Cushing, B.B.Q. and Roy Orbitussin. Sorry for blowing the lid off this thing, guys! Now all three of my readers will know about it!

There’s a Lilith Fair tribute thing at OLS. Everyone’s like, oh, the Lilith Fair, so groundbreaking! And I’m over here like, the Lilith Fair was reductive and safe because it reduced women in music to one moist, mohair be-cardiganed lane of singer/songwriter Shawn Colvin-y pablum, diminishing women in punk, rock, new wave, rap and all the rest that can’t be so easily quantified. Plus, Tracy Chapman and India.Arie as the only two black faces on the main stage was just depressing. Let’s say it again, all together now so everyone can hear it! Feminism HAS TO BE intersectional! It’s not just for straight white people! Jeezus goddam fucking christ already!

And of course, in keeping with Waterfront Concerts’ cult leader Alex “I beat the crap out of my girlfriend” Gray’s mission to MAGA all of us to death, Convicted Elder Abuser Billy Currington is at the Maine State Pier today because there are never, EVER any consequences for conservative white men who treat other people like shit, beat them, abuse them, rape them, steal from them, and generally commit heinous acts. Never any consequences, because rich white men do not care about anyone else.

Oh, and hey billy, you look like a FUCKING DORK in your fucking press photo, you angry little piece of shit.

 How much do you want to drive your car over your phone right now just so you can smash this smug motherfucker's face in?

How much do you want to drive your car over your phone right now just so you can smash this smug motherfucker's face in?

El Malo and Clara Junken are at Geno’s. Flask has LOVE. Ziggy Marley is at Aura. Fighting Fiction is at Brian Boru. Darlin’ Corey are at Blue. Salvage has Pete Witham and the Cozmik Zombies.

Saturday July 8

Lovely Kenya Hall and charming Myles Bullen are having a backyard concert! What a delight.

Darsombra, Cadaverette, All Night and Apis Malfiore are at Geno’s.

Flask has a house night, Mainely House Pt. 3.

Kyle Hardy group is at Blue for their Jazz night. Salvage has King Memphis. John Nels is at Munjoy Hill Tavern. 311 is at the Maine State Pier.

Tall Horse are releasing their new album tonight at SPACE Gallery with Purse, Ossalot and $300.

Raekwon is at PCMH with Stann Smith and ill by instinct.

Another reminder here about Take Back Hope if you wanna party with me.

Sunday July 9

The Reggie Sullivan Band is at Slab from 3-6. Rising Tide has music on Sundays from 1-4, this week it’s The Court Jesters. OLS has Music for Mutts, a benefit concert for The Green Ark, which is a volunteer pet adoption/fostering organization.

Alright everybody, be kind and generous with your time and money this weekend, no drunk driving ever as per the usual, please give your money to Hope Acts by coming to the show but if you can't because you don't have money I'll understand, I always understand being poor because even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you, honey, and everything will bring a chain of love! And in the morning when I rise? You bring a tear of joy to my eyes, and tell me everything is gonna be alright!