What the Fuck Should I Do Tonight: Go Home USA, You're Drunk! Edition!

Greetings! It's Fourth of July here in the States, and the only reason to celebrate right now is because we get like, two days off from whatever hell we trudge to every day that metes out scant breadcrumbs of a living while lining the pockets of some cartoon villain with bought and paid dual citizenship in New Zealand. The only thing that "America" stands for in my mind, today, is late-stage capitalism and a very broken capacity to care about other people and Mother Earth. There is literally nothing to celebrate anymore. Well, except getting the fucking day off from work, and if you're lucky, you get paid (8 hours despite the fact that you work for 10 hours on most days) to have the day off. 

But enough with that negativity I mean realism! Let's get real for a second, you are going to sit outside, eat food that has been cooked on an open flame, and get drunk as a skunk and you're going to have a goddam blast doing it. So here, I made you a barbecue playlist. This playlist has everything you need at a barbecue - classic RnB for the sunny hours, a few contemporary hits for The Youths - but not too many, who's paying for this thing anyway?, some sweet 60's and 70's soul for when the sun starts to set, an then some excellent weed- and romance-themed reggae for when your cousin Tyler starts rolling joints on your mom's favorite placemats, and your neighbor sneaks off with your ex girlfriend to make out and probably do some pants-region stuff behind the shed.

Anyway, put this bitch on shuffle and savor that moment when "Ignition Remix" comes on and everyone at your barbecue loses their fucking mind and starts dancing. 


Friday June 30

Emo Night Live: Summertime Sad Kids Edition is at PHOME.

The Mallett Brothers and These Wild Plains are at PCMH.

Rick Rude, KGFREEZE, Bully Mammoth and Footings (NH) are at Bayside Bowl.

Jarren Benton, Northern Lights Nation & QP are at Empire. Eric Ott, Bob Warren and Matt Estabrook Quartet are at Blue. Long Gone Wanderers are at Salvage. Dogfish has Hilton Park.

Blackberry Smoke, a band whose press photo makes me want to punch them right in their Allman Brothers Underoos, is at Aura.

The Pubcrawlers are at Brian Boru.

Saturday July 1

The Porthole has Freevolt out on the deck from 2-6. Later on at 7, they have Northern Groove.

Meyhem Lauren is at Oxbow with locals Ben Shorr, DJ Myth, Eyenin, Ock Cousteau, Shameek tha God, Ghost Dog, Words of Phrase, GVTZ and Two Story.

The Resistance, Argon Red and Port City Saints are at the Spring Point Tavern in South Portland.

Locals Darrell Foster, Sean Slaughter, Renee Coolbrith, Justin Chamberlain, Trent Gay, Kelly Ravin, Dominic Lavoie, Kris Rodgers and Kurt Fedora with members of Five of the Eyes, The Very Reverend, Kris Rodgers and the Dirty Gems, John Hughes Radio, Dominic and the Lucid, Eldemur Krimm, Paranoid Social Club and the Welterweights are doing a night of Chris Cornell-themed music as a benefit for The Opportunity Alliance. This is an earlier show, music starts at 8pm.

Bayside Bowl hosts The Electric Mess (NYC), The Tarantula Brothers and The Flipsides.

Brian Boru has DJ Tiny Dancer.

Blue has Tony Gaboury, Eric Klaxton and the Kendall Moore Quartet. Salvage has Big Ass Rooster. Dogfish has Matt Meyer and the Gumption Junction.

Sunday July 2

Keanu Keanu are at Rising Tide.

Slightly Stoopid are at the Maine State Pier.

Karen McDine is at Andy’s Old Port.

Tricky Britches are at Blue.

Ok you bloated stuffed crust douchebags, have a good weekend and do all the stuff we've talked about: look out for each other, be kind, be present. Speak to people respectfully and give compliments and listen to what people are saying to you, I mean really listen. Tip your bartenders, invite someone new to your barbecue and remember this because it is VERY IMPORTANT this weekend: DO NOT DRIVE DRUNK NO DO NOT DO IT NO NOT EVER! And look I don't care about you because of money or status! I ain't got no money! I ain't like those other girls you hang around. It's kind of funny, cause they always seem to let you down. I get discouraged because I never see you anymore, but I need your love babe - it's all I'm living for! I don't want to pressure you baby... but all I ever wanted to do! I wanna be your lover! I want to be the only one who makes you come running! I wanna be your lover! I want to turn you on, turn you out, all night long, make you shout "OH LOVER!" Yeah! I want to be the only one you come for.