What have we always said was the most important thing?
Wait, what? No, not family you idiots. I mean family is wonderful, but here at HT:P! Worldwide Headquarters, we've always said the most important thing is raising the bar for our local music scene. DUH. You fucking dummy dum dum dum dumhead.
We have had SUCH A GOOD TIME HERE. I mean, I think so anyway. We've laughed together, we've cursed together, we've made sweet, sweet passionate love (gross) and stared deeply and meaningfully into each others eyes (also gross). We've cried, we've lamented, we've gotten angry, and we did it all right here. You and me. Because I love you and I have always been in love with you, before I even met you. Our love is eternal.
But things change, and now it is time, after two years of skrait shenanz, to up the ante. Shouldn't we, this music community, seek new blood? Is it not time to recruit? Is it not time to start seeing some faces at our shows that aren't just our own faces, over and over again?
Yes. The answer is yes. And with that, I am proud to announce that WTHSIDT will expand to now include a Weekday Edition published on Monday Mornings, and a Weekend Edition published on Friday mornings as you've come to expect and - dare I say it - crave?
But the biggest change will be where those guides reside, and I am not displeased to tell you that WTHSIDT has partnered up with portlandoldport.com for two reasons: one? MAMA NEEDS CASH, BITCHES. I am so poor, you know this about me. These folks are willing to both give me dollars for words, BUT ALSO they said I don't have to change anything about my writing. What that means for you and me is the same great bullshit from a bad person, served up on a bed of nasty words and shitty grammar. But the second reason is the real reason this is a compelling move; POP is owned by Mainely SEO, who basically slaughter the search engine situation. So when I list a show now? It won't be my same micro-audience of 500 people looking at it. Now, WTFSIDT will be in front of tens of thousands of eyes, including tourists and people who aren't "in the know." And with any luck, those folks will take that five dollar bill they've been farting on all day because they ate too many lobster rolls and spend it on YOUR EP, YOUR show, YOUR t shirt, they will take an uber to the west side and spend their dollars in the venues and on tickets and on merch. This is truly a way to bolster the Portland music scene economically.
What will NOT migrate to POP is Greg's awesome film writing, and my "think" (HAHAHAHAHA) pieces, feminist rants, advice columns on how to catch an STD from a local musician and all of my other collected leavings. That's just for insiders. That's just for us.
Now, all we have to do is make our shit compelling. I'll do my part, you do yours by continuing to make incredible music and art. But please, I beg of you as time goes on, no matter what: can we please support each other? I am so sick to death of all of us just clawing each others' eyes out over jealousy and bad blood. A rising tide raises all ships. Please let's all do this together.
So go read my first post for POP over there. And before you even say it, yes I have sold out. This isn't the 90's put your platform boots and turkey wrap and Counting Crows cd away and catch up.
I love you.