What the Heck Should I Do Tonight: Bunny Love Weekend Edition!

It's Easter weekend! 

Here is a thing I am so curious about: doesn't anyone else think it's "weird" that we celebrate a holiday that is SUPPOSEDLY about a man's body going missing from his sarcophagus with symbols of fertility like rabbits and eggs and baby chickens and all that shit? 

 Nightmare fuel

Nightmare fuel

I mean, I guess it's not weird if you do the reading and know that Easter is a pagan festival that was kind of fine with early Christians, who were like, MY DUDES, CAN WE GET IN ON THIS SWEET SWEET PARTY? WE BROUGHT A DEAD MIDDLE EASTERN MAN WITH US IT WILL BE LIKE A WEEKEND AT BERNIES THING. COOL? COOL. CARL! HEY CARL THEY SAID IT'S OK, GO AHEAD AND GET THE CROSS SET UP RIGHT OVER HERE, WE COOL. 

 Here we see Jesus at his first Pagan party post-resurrection.

Here we see Jesus at his first Pagan party post-resurrection.

Spring is a time of rebirth, it makes sense to celebrate it, no matter with whose sacred, spilled blood your bread is buttered. The eggs and rabbits and baby chicks, they're all a celebration of new life that rolls around every spring, and maybe also a reminder that it's ok for everyone to come out of their winter hidey holes and bang it out. Let's get to bangin'! 

Oh but wait, there's that whole thing of how we live in a puritanical country that frowns upon gleeful sexual activity, no matter how many round, twerking black women's butts they're willing to exploit and objectify to turn our desires into dick-charged profit. We have to spend this weekend that has grown from the root of newly awakened desire and renewal in a church, where our desires are beaten back down, only to turn to cancer, anger and bad decisions like electing Donald Trump to the highest seat of power on earthy. Meanwhile, we are told by The Corporation to secretly, SHAMEFULLY go fetishize the bodies of muscular people of color or tiny, helpless-looking waifish white women as a way to make sexuality a forbidden, locked away fantasy - solely existing to satisfy the need for power and control - that can only be attained by conquest and violence, by special circumstances alone.

And we wonder why there's so much sexual and racial violence in the US. Could it be that the narrative we're being sold has, all along, been tailored to create these insatiable desires? Could it be that keeping us hungry and violent serves the pockets of those in control? 

JUST SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT. 

In the meantime, we should be having way more sex, generally, than we are, and we should just be doing it with all the ordinary people all around us. Have you yet taken a spring lover? Find one! ASK NICELY. GET CLEAR, VERBAL CONSENT FROM YOUR SPRING LOVER. There is so much beauty in the mundane, and in the whole person - a complete package with a body, a mind and a soul, actions that make up the sum of the person, words that complete the experience, and secrets and mystery, a rich inner life with which to be fascinated. Passion can truly grow there, if we just plant the seeds and let it happen. So while there is maybe a bit less going on this weekend for seculars, get off the couch and try to take the first steps on the road toward this gleeful sexuality, one that feels aboveboard and celebrates us humans as whole beings who can be stimulated as whole beings and not just as sentient dicks with bodies attached searching for holes to nest in for 3 minutes.

ZING! I SAID 3 MINUTES! IT'S THE 80'S AGAIN AND JOKES ABOUT HOW DUDES COME REALLY FAST DURING SEX ARE HILARIOUS AND AU-COURANT!

Ok.

Friday April 14   

Stealing North is at the Thirsty Pig.

Waka Flocka Flame, taking a brief but much needed hiatus from his busy schedule of sharing listicles about hair care and other #sponcon on his facebook page, is at The State Theatre tonight.

Jazz trio Mike McGinnis, Art Lande and Steve Swallow play a set of music tonight at the Woodford congregational church.

Swedish folk singer Sofia Talvik is at Blue.

Rogue Dave Matthews impersonator Dave Gutter and Rustic Overtones are at PHOME tonight performing their album Let’s Start A Cult 2. This is night one of a two night engagement. They bring with them Bella’s Bartok, who are a band of like 40 white dudes with olde-tymey moustaches and vests and pants that are hemmed too high, which, like, WAI U ALL WANT TU BE THE MAST BROTHERS? NOBODY LIKES THE MAST BROTHERS. I make fun, but they self-describe as Bohemian Klezmer Punk, and WASN’T I JUST ASKING A COUPLE WEEKS AGO FOR A KLEZMER PUNK BAND? There you have it, then. The musical gods have been peeping my vision board, obvs.

 Yes, that's right, dress like us.... shhhh, no shhhhhh, there there, just put on an ironic apron and some moustache wax, just dressss like ussssss one of ussss one of ussss....

Yes, that's right, dress like us.... shhhh, no shhhhhh, there there, just put on an ironic apron and some moustache wax, just dressss like ussssss one of ussss one of ussss....

Here’s an interesting show in an interesting location: New Jersey crooner Sammy Kay plays with local reggae band Roots, Rhythm and Dub, and El Grande, who play that ska music the kid who wore oxblood doc martens in your eighth grade biology class was so into, they’re all at Mathew’s tonight.

Clara Junken trio is at Blue early. El Malo is there late.

The new room at Aura that will play host to Manservant Hecubus and Fairuza Balk in The Craft going forward is now open. Tonight, Plague hosts its first dance there with DJs Neith and Sawtooth.

Flask has Foundation Friday with Leo Alarcon. Barefoot Fossie and the Coop are at RiRa.

This is an interesting thing at Geno’s for those of you who like the experience of actively watching live music more than the experience of the music itself. That is not an insult, by the way. Timeghost is coming through town with fellow travelers Craow and Missdick Vibrosis, and local experimental musician Id M Theft Able opens along with Foul Territory, who are apparently an improv punk band made up of a bunch of people who play baseball together but who are also in bands too.

Saturday April 15

Rustic Overtones are back at PHOME tonight performing their album Light at the End. This time Gina and the Red Eye Flight Crew open.

My pick for tonight would probably be this Haitian music collective at SPACE called Lakou Mizik and I’d pick it because we probably will get to dance a little and also we will learn something about things and people and that has a lot of value in today’s climate of nontruths.

I really want to just walk a few feet back to the well of not trying very hard and dip my bucket back in for some more Mast Brothers jokes about this band at OLS tonight called Ten Strings and a Goat Skin, but then I read about them and they seem pretty cool and funny and interesting. DAMMIT! Foiled again, Mini Mast Brothers! Also they look very young and I’d like to harvest their soft baby faces and put them into my food processor with some, like, coconut oil or some shit to make some kind of collagen cream for my decrepit face.

 "geez, she's not looking so hot these days, huh." - you

"geez, she's not looking so hot these days, huh." - you

Power duo Wedding Camp releases their new EP at Geno’s tonight and play with Ossalot, Cadaverette and a NH band called Notches.

What is this? A DJ thing? With cheap beer and desserts or is that just the DJ’s name? Classic case of putting being “insidery” over being descriptive so people will actually come to your thing.

Flask has their flow/beats party Future Classic tonight.

Xander Nelson is at Empire with Love to Burn and Covered in Bees. I was like, “who is Xander Nelson?” and then I read their description, “Xander Nelson is a punchy, melodic rock band” and I read that as a paunchy melodic rock band, and first I was like, well that’s not very nice, and then I spent a few minutes staring at their photo to see if they were really paunch. They are not paunchy. Paunchy is a great word.

Taproot Productions is throwing a warehouse party tonight with Mickman; email or fb or something for the addy.

OK I don't really have much to say this week other than the usual, which is you know, tip your servers, be kind, be generous, be safe, look out for your neighbors, and oh also close your eyes, make a wish, and blow out the candlelight for tonight is just your night - we're gonna celebrate, all through the night! Pour the wine, light the fire, your wish is my command! I submit to your demands, I'll do anything!! You need only ask!!! I'll make love to you* like you want me to and I'll hold you tight baby all through the night I'll make love to you when you want me to and I will not let go till you tell me to!!!

* no I won't. I mean probably no.