I learned how to make gifs out of youtube videos. You know, like the rest of the Internet-using public did back in 2009. Anyway, so as soon as I figured out how to make gifs and told my bestie about it, she was like, "you know what you have to gif for us: the little girl in red from the 'Iesha' video."
I knew exactly who she was talking about. This girl:
If you can put aside how UPSETTINGLY SEXUAL this video is given that it stars, like, 8 year old boys, that little girl running after the members of ABC as they get into their ride cracks me the fuck up every time. The hands. The lack of control over her momentum. The 90's bangs. The outfit. How her torso bends at the middle as she tries to redirect herself toward the car. What is not to like? Nothing. It's hilarious and I love it.
So it got me to thinking about all these cool music videos all these musicians are making here in town. Let's be honest: nobody watches them. Sorry, but that's real. The longest thing anyone is really watching anymore is a 15 second instagram video, and even that feels too long in our post-writing Internet age. Unless it's a vine - or better yet, a gif - your audience already moved on by the time your youtube upload completed rendering.
So in the grand tradition of Drake's seminal creation "Hotline Bling," a video so giffable, so ridiculous, that we reach peak Drake and peak giffability AT THE SAME MOMENT IN TIME, I bring you the best gifs from Portland, Maine's music scene. So, without further ado, please enjoy:
A Compendium of Unintentionally Hilarious Gifs from Locally Made Music Videos
It all starts here. This is the video for "Give" by KGFREEZE featuring Sara Hallie Richardson and Lady Essence. You'll see SHR being generally lovely and doing her thing in the front here - ignore her. Watch the door for KG's amazing entrance:
He is giving me so much hard Fraggle vibe here, I can't even deal with it. His body language reminds me of Andy picking up his plate in the cafeteria in one of the best scenes from Wet Hot American Summer:
You dig? You get what we're doing here? Great. Let's go.
You guys, has anyone seen my snake? HAHAHA NO I'm not talking about my dick! My snake, silly! He's gotta be around here somewhere!
Oh hey, haha... just, ah... just trying to find my way to the tennis courts? Do you know, um, where they are? Haha yeah, no I belong here, sure. What would I be doing here otherwise? Um ok, so I'm just gonna go.... um... THIS way... k thanks bye!!
I'm Doug and I'm punk as fuck even if I'm wearing a Hawaiian shirt and playing in this pop band MEANFACEMEANFACEMEANFACE FOCUS ON THE TEETH.
Wait, so just stand here with these bubble guns? Like this? How am I doing? Do I look awkward? Oh god when is this over?
I'M SO DEPRESSED. I WILL EAT MY FEELINGS AND THEY WILL BE DELICIOUS.
I AM ALSO VERY DEPRESSED, but in a rat pack-y sort of way. Here's lookin' at ya.
YASSSS QUEEEN, YASSSS.
Hi I'm here for the John Mayer audition?
LOLOLOL OMG THESE BUBBLES SMELL LIKE FARTZ.
Hey girl... your skin is going to make such a lovely lampshade.
And finally, let's end it where it all began; full circle: