What the Fuck Should I Do Tonight: Weekend Edition!

The truth is, today my heart aches. The truth is I’m totally alone. The truth is that “Home Sweet Home” by Motley Crue is kind of a perfect song and I’m shocked that Nikki Sixx, Vince Neil and Tommy Lee were able to write that shit from the deep LA smog of cocaine haze they were in in 1985. The truth is I need a friend. The truth is I’m more terrified of the next 40 years than I am of death. The truth is that, on my Spotify this week, I deliberately, and with great forethought, searched for and then played a Vanessa Williams song. The truth is I’m too ashamed to tell you which one. Wait, no I’m not, the truth is that it was “Save the Best for Last.”

An MRI of my brain that same day showed the above activity pattern.

An MRI of my brain that same day showed the above activity pattern.

When it started snowing on Tuesday I just kept getting that stupid “sometimes the snow comes down in June” line stuck in my shriveled little craw and I just glitched out, repeating it to myself over and over and over. Instead of, you know, the much more logical and significantly more listenable “Sometimes it Snows in April” by you know who. LUCKY ME.   

Can we all just pretend you didn’t just read the preceding 180 words? Thanks guys. Your participation in my great denial doesn’t go unnoticed. I’m fine. THINGS ARE FINE.   

Friday April 29

Poland Street House have Tashi Dorji and Marisa Anderson, two traveling acts that are playing with some locals scattered in, including Hot Trash’s own cinema guru Greg Jamie.

Twin Grizzly, Drive Train, Torn in Two and young upstarts Broken Empire are at Live at 212 - Go look at Broken Empire’s press photo. These kids are not fucking around, someone in that band has a good mind to be in a band professionally. They’re from Lewiston and they look like fetuses to me, but I’m basically a senior citizen in rock and roll years, so that means nothing.

BROKEN EMPIRE, ARE YOU OUT THERE, CAN YOU HEAR ME: ditch the hooded long sleeve tee shirt thingie that LipRing Von Seriousface has going on. Everything else is great. Play in Portland and I will come see your set. Yes, this is all predicated upon having your marketing assets in order. Now, Torn in Two on the other hand… we need to talk. Step into my office…

Though not a music event, we must mention that the Superhero Lady Arm Wrestlers of Portland are hosting an event called “Big and Easy” at Geno’s. They’re raising money for their new side-charity that donates tampons and pads and diva cups, period supplies basically, to shelters and other local programs that support women. I refuse to use the term “feminine hygiene products” in seriousness because FUCK YOU patriarchy, there’s nothing unhygienic about having your period. Anyway, if you bring a box of tampons or a box of pads or any other kind of period supply UNOPENED you can get your photo taken with a wrestler and you get a limited edition pin. I’m a pretty hardcore lady and these ladies scare the fucking bejeezus out of me in like a really good way. Have fun.  

Sidecar Radio and Battery Steele are at PHOME.

Juliana Barwick with new Portland resident but old worldwide rocker Nat Baldwin are SPACE.  

Roots in the Attic at Empire this month has Chris Ross and the North, who I inexplicably want to do a cover of “To Be With You” by Mr. Big. That would be so good, right?! He just has that proper combo of earnestness and retro-ness that would make it work. Town Meeting, Jesse Ahern and the Roots Rock Rebel Revue and Amanda Bonnevie are also on this bill, cha-cha-ching ching, here come the hot stepper.

Heh. That mouth. 

Heh. That mouth. 

Sweep the Leg is at RiRa, A Space for Grace has a dance party and Flask has Black Friday. Salvage has - YES IT IS TRUE - Travis James Humphrey! That they’ve spelled Humphries on their web site I LOVE THIS TOWN SO HARD.

Saturday April 30

Pete Kilpatrick is having his CD release at PHOME (it’s an ALBUM release, come on guys, we’ve been through this! Celebrate the art, not the format!). The cover art is pretty much breathtaking, though, and makes me want to listen to the contents of the album. Who made the cover art, PK?

Live at 212 is doing a free Spring Metalfest with Chaos Machine.

William Joseph Jiordan and Kyle Morgan, Bridge Isabella and Street Sweeper are at Local Sprouts.

The Outsiders, Whiskey Hill, Bart Joy and DJ Matt Little are at Bayside Bowl.

Leveret, Mouth Washington, Little Tomb and Fur are at SPACE. I’m going to see Purse on Saturday, but I also want to go to this show. WHITE PERSON PROBLEMS, AMIRITE???

The Pubcrawlers, Iron Chin and Damn Garrison at Geno’s.

Purse and Record High are having a dual album release party at Empire. I reviewed Purse’s new album Put it in The Pool for Dispatch, so I hope you all go and read it. No spoilers, you’ll just have to go get a copy to find out what I think of Purse.

Sparks the Rescue are at RiRa. What happened here, weren’t STR supposed to be like the next great hometown heroes, headlining the State Theater whenever they returned home? Help me out though, because I legit don’t know: is this just some sort of undergroundy hometown secret show situation? People are doing all these living room shows and shit now, I get that that’s what you kids want, quiet little sit down living room thingies OR butt crack jean shorts Coachella culturally-appropriative fashion tragedy situations, and nothing in between. You’re gonna be so pissed when rock clubs come back into style and you realize you accidentally closed them all down with your stupid condos and artisan rainbow bagel shops or whatever the fuck. You’ll have to fly through Newark Airport to go to CBGB in this new age. May their sandwich breads be as spongy and moist as the floor at CBGB was, perpetually, in my youth (srsly, does anyone know, did they build that club on the back of a whale? Was the floor tiled with kitchen sponges? WHY WAS THE FLOOR SO SOFT?!?!)

sunday may 1

Cute! Congress Square Park is having a May Day Celebration with folk music and folk dancing.

The closing of the India Street Public Health Center is a huge blow to the availability of accessible health care for our most vulnerable citizens. Maybe your inner circle has been hashtag blessed enough to not have been touched by homelessness, HIV or drug addiction, but for most of us, it’s a reality of having friends and family, and these are struggles that many of us in the arts community know in an up-close and personal way. 

These types of public health centers are often the only access that low- or no-income individuals have to health care. There’s a certain moralizing, a demonization of our vulnerable populations in our contemporary rhetoric. “Well, they made their bed, now they must lie in it.” NO. Not at all. That’s entirely not how it happens. If you think anyone wants to be addicted to drugs or wants to have HIV or wants to be homeless, you’re out of your mind. And if you’re under 40 years old, there is a very good possibility that, as safety nets like pensions, social security and retirement funds become more scarce, you will face an old age wherein you will require care from these types of health centers - they may be your only access to healthcare. If you think you’re going to face a golden retirement like your grandparents did, please invite me over to your wonderful dream world where we all don’t die alone in a cockroach-infested low-income managed care facility.

But I digress. Come to this rally. If you can’t go, find a way to participate by writing your legislators.

Here’s a message from the event page:

India Street Public Health Center is at risk of being defunded and closed!

Help us protect Portland people's access to quality public health care!


Rally May 1st at 1pm in Lincoln Park! Wear RED to show support!

The plan at this point is to march from Lincoln Park down congress, past city hall, right onto elm, left onto oxford, left onto Preble, end at Monument Square.

At Monument Square there will be a lineup of local leaders, activists, and performers, speaking out and inspiring action to save India Street!

Please help spread the word, word to mouth is most effective, tell your friends and family, coworkers and classmates, tell them whats going on, and invite them to get involved to show support.

You can also like and share this event with your friends, and any group pages you are a part of.

Message us if you want to help more!

See you all there!


I love you guys. Stay safe and have fun. XOXO sometimes the snow comes down in june sometimes the sun goes round the moon just when i thought our chance had passed, you went and saved the best for last