Introducing HOT TRASH: MUNCH! Starring Erik Neilson!

Well, well, well... WHAT HAVE WE HERE? Yes, it's true, food is once again the center of attention here at HT:P! Worldwide Headquarters. And how do we commemorate our love of food?

By, of course, honoring fairground-dwelling professional eater and all-around fatass scam artist with a HEART OF GOLD: Templeton the Rat. The only morbidly obese garbage eating anthropomorphized rat featured in a children's movie who can swallow a hot dog without triggering his gag reflex. GET YOUR MINDS OUT OF THE GUTTER I DIDN'T EVEN SAY A THING.

Alright, now that we've gotten all the inappropriateness out of the way, here's the real reason we're honoring food. Introducing: HOT TRASH: MUNCH!

That's right, our first - and only! - column dedicated to Portland, Maine's culinary arts here on HT:P! Look, I know there are a lot of food blogs here in Portland. This blog you're on right now was nominated for a "best of" award by The Phoenix, and it's HT:P!, Black Girl in Maine (which should win, go vote for her) and three food blogs. I get it! Oversaturated!  

Or is it?

As the new EDITORIAL OVERLORD for HT:P!:MUNCH, triple threat (musician, writer and accomplished eater) Erik Neilson brings us a new perspective on our local culinary arts scene that gets us all up close and personal with what is most important during a meal: the food. You know, the stuff you shove in your face while you're busy yelling at the manager for having had to have waited FIVE WHOLE MINUTES for your drinks to arrive? That stuff. Plus we get the added benefit of Erik's unique voice and years of experience waxing poetic about everything from cheap eats to $50 steaks. We're so very happy to have Erik on the HT:P! team.

So go read about Erik and check out his other works (he's Contributing Editor over at Zest Magazine, OHHHH SO FANCY, FANCY WRITER MAN) and come back tomorrow morning for Erik's first official post. Let's get chubby on gourmet shit, y'all!!!