What the Fuck Should I Do Tonight: Weekend Edition!

Oh boy oh boy oh boy OH BOY!

Change is afoot! Things. Are. Happening. It’s a very special day over here at Hot Trash Worldwide Headquarters. Want to know why? Well I WILL TELL YOU WHY THEN.

It’s because next week, WE here at Hot Trash: Portland will stop being just me addressing myself in the royal sense, but will actually BE a WE. That’s right, where there once was one, now there will be two.

But not two music writers, no, that would be dumb you big dum dum how many times do I have to call you dumb before you start believing it and stop saying dumb shit? In fact, Hot Trash: Portland will be launching our VERY OWN CINEMA BLOG.

BUT WHO WILL BE WRITING THIS CINEMA BLOG, VK? Oh, wouldn’t you like to know. Well, you’ll just have to wait to find out. But he’s (it’s a boy!) got all the right moves, y’all. Ew, that sounded gross. I just meant he knows what he’s talking about. Jesus.

So keep an eye on us in the next few days as we launch...

Hot Trash: Portland - Cinema!

In the meantime…

Friday, February 19

There are two things that I want to go to super bad tonight, but I’ll just have to see how things play out, as I have other plans that I am also excited about but that don’t involve seeing music. The first thing that I want to go to is the Midwinter Party and Swing Dance at Mechanic’s Hall Ballroom with Soggy Po’ Boys. Soggy Po’ Boys are New Orleans style jazz and swing from NH and this event is put on by the Portland Swing Project, which is a big crew of local swing dancers. Mechanic’s Hall Ballroom is legit, y’all. If you have ever wanted to recreate the dance hall scenes from “Swing Kids” in your own life, this is the closest you’re going to get in Portland. You don’t have to dance, though, but if you do there’s a beginner’s lesson at I think maybe 6pm? or 7? I don’t know check the event page you scrub. Also there is booze so if you dance but BAE does not, no sweat. S/he can sit in the corner and get shitfaced while you practice your Lindy Circles and Shim Sham.

Way to work that sensitive guy 90's bowl cut into a movie about the 1930's, HOLLYWOOD.

Way to work that sensitive guy 90's bowl cut into a movie about the 1930's, HOLLYWOOD.

The second thing I want to go to is the Foul Mouth showcase with Fur, Waco Sparkler and Roy Orbitussin at Geno’s. Roy Orbitussin is a dude with a guitar and the box from a rack of PBR on his head as a hat for his press photo, Fur sounds like maybe an updated and more cynical B-52’s crossed with Stereolab but less 1960’s French pop sounding (I know, it’s just how I feel, ok) and Waco Sparkler is sort of a low fi electronic, uh… collective? I think one or more of them are from Portland or at least Maine. Whatever. Anyway, it’s an eclectic lineup and I like that we’re not doomed to like, A NIGHT OF METAL, or A NIGHT OF FOLK or whatever, you get a little bit of everything, like a fucking buffet and who doesn’t like a fucking buffet? BUFFET IS GOOD, I LOVE BUFFET.  

Templeton, you fucking fatass. 

Templeton, you fucking fatass. 

Other things that you may want to attend include Shanna Underwood, the Dupont Brothers and Welterweight at Blue, Doubting Gravity at Brian Boru, Monarck Lisa and Sassquatch at Studio F, Micodin at Baxter Brewing’s 5 Year Birthday Party, Plague at Asylum, Cattle Call at Salvage, LQH at Dogfish preceded, of course, by… you know already, don’t you! Don’t play with me! It’s Travis James Humphrey for happy hour, silly! LIKE IT ALWAYS IS.   

Murcielago and Bully Mammoth are at PHOME with Boston band Long Time. I know that Murcielago are very beloved here in Portland and that they have been doing it a long ass time and are skilled at their instruments and whatnot, but I don’t get it with them. Maybe I’ve yet to hear the song that blows everyone’s mind? Suggestions on what to check out taken in the comments. Don’t leave me out in the cold here guys, tell me what you love about Murcielago so I can love them too. I WANT TO BELONG SO BAD.  

Last but not least, DJ KTF is doing his Throwbacks dance party at Empire again. How is this going, have you been? Obvs because of my age and where I grew up, 90’s hip hop and R&B is very close to my heart and I love to listen to it and dance to it, but I haven’t been back to this event yet since the first time I breezed through on a first date. A first date isn’t a great time or place to really be indulging in Mary J. Blige and Jay Z though, unless that is ALSO your first date’s thing, which… definitely not the case on this particular date. I failed. Whatever, I’ll be back. I just don’t know if it will be this Friday. Reports from the front lines welcome.

Saturday February 20

I am intrigued once again by two events this evening, the first being KYOTY, Sterling Black, FRKSE, All Night and Final Boss at SPACE. KYOTY is a post-metal thing, like super heavy shoegaze music or something, maybe like Mono? You know that band? FRKSE and Final Boss are also out of towners, but Sterling Black is on this bill, and as we all know because I’ve told you many times, Sterling Black is, I think, one of the best live bands in Portland…. WHEN they want to be. They’re a little temperamental and can often be found in venues with fucking terrible sound systems so it’s hit or miss, but at a venue like SPACE I think Sterling Black will bring it hard and remind all of us why they’re our own hometown glam-garage-punk Brian Jonestown Massacre situation in the best way. Also on the bill are All Night, who are a trio of ex Conifer, Ocean and Lynx members and also play that drone-y heavy metal post rock thing. This lineup may be too “genre-y” for the average Joe, but I think this is the show to be at on Saturday night.

The second intriguing event for me on Saturday is the Roots in the Attic: Maine Troubadors installment at Empire. This installment of the Roots series has Max Garcia Conover, Fat Knuckle Freddy, Samuel James, Frank Fotusky and Dana Gross.  I have only seen two of those artists, but I suspect the rest are just as skilled, and this intimate storytelling type of event can feel very uplifting and emotional. There’s also of course the possibility of collaborations or duets of some kind, and it’s always interesting to see the different kinds of guitars on the scene and how they’re played by each artist. All the way on the opposite side of the spectrum from what’s happening across the street at SPACE, but just as much a “thinking person’s” event. Made for introspection and reflection and a certain type of communion.  

The Fogcutters are releasing their new album “Flotsam” at PHOME with Sorcha and The Clearing. You already know all about The Fogcutters, don’t even front with me. You know more than I do, you should be writing this stupid column.  The Gamma Goochies, Nuclear Bootz, L.N. DeGenerates and I Suppose You Know Karate are at Geno’s. A Space For Grace is hosting The Restless Atlantic, Cheers to Verona, Modern Day Tragedy and All Quiet Ire.

Flask has Future Classic presents Zoo Logic.

Sunday February 21

The State Street Traditional Jazz Band is playing at PHOME. I’m thinking for those that either didn’t get to go to Mechanic’s Hall on Friday but still want to get their dance on or just hear some traditional jazz, this is a great chance. Sounds like a nice thing to do after a late two-mimosa brunch, if I’m being honest with myself. You know I’ve got too much work to do, I ain’t got time to be living this life of leisure.

OK sweet butts, I’m gonna leave you with a little jam that I think we can all agree will both help relieve the election cycle fatigue that is already setting in and ALSO get you primed and ready for your weekend as the fanciest, baddest bitch on Congress Street. Have a good weekend I will always love you.