What the Fuck Should I Do Tonight: Weekend Edition!

I did a stupid thing. HA. That's hilarious. I actually did like 2,000 stupid things just in the last 24 hours. That's humanity! That's real, my succulent little lamb chops. My falling off the bone little short ribs. My luscious and savory little pressure-cooked pork bellies. I COULD JUST EAT YOU RIGHT THE FUCK UP, I COULD. LIFT YOUR SHIRT UP.

People make mistakes. You can forgive, or you can grudge. YOU CAN DO BOTH! I don't care. But hey look, apparently I set a password on this site last week, and I did it because someone went to a friend of mine and was like, dude tell your stupid friend the following message from me: "hey dumbass, you are not supposed to say this thing that you said on your web site" and I went into full panic mode because, you know, I'm new and for the first time in maybe ever since I slid, roughshod, out of the womb of my sainted mother, I was concerned about really making people upset and ruining my reputation ("oh, you mean your precious reputation of being a loser?" - you). Anyway, after I fixed the problem, I didn't take the password off.  What? WHY? Just forgetfulness and wine, I'm thinking. I just had a lot going on last weekend. I did a thing and it was good. Apparently you can't talk about it or some shit or the anarchy police will come after you and shame you but won't just email you about it, they'll tell your friend and remain anonymous instead because DRAMA, and REASONS. Whatever. It's over. I crushed it.

I think a couple of you told me about the password, too, and I was like, "hahahahaaaaa what? oh, things.... sure, I love it, did I do that? hahahaha zing a ding ding!!" Alex, Gwynne, u lookin out 4 me, we cool I owe you a drink and a handshake and also a milkshake? a booty shake? Recipient's choice. But seriously, pick the booty shake tho, it's the best choice, everything I have going on that's good is going on six inches behind me. 

HA. Fuckers, all y'all. It's the weekend before Halloween weekend. Slim Pickens, as it were. I'm drunk and I'm wearing last year's Halloween headdress. For fun and for fashion!! I guess we can try to do some shows tho. Or just skip to the calendar, dingus, I'm not your fucking mother.

Friday, October 21

Hessian is playing tonight at Geno's and I STILL. HAVE NOT. SEEN FUCKING HESSIAN. I swear to fucking christ and all the other things you can swear to that I will not miss this show. The forces of nature have been trying to keep me and Hessian apart, and I am starting to suspect that it is because if we're in the same room together, if our powers are allowed to mingle and then coalesce, there will be... an event. Will the earth open up, Lovecraft style, and swallow us whole? Will there be a Great White style pyrotechnics failure?  WILL DONALD TRUMP ACCIDENTALLY GET ELECTED BECAUSE OUR BEING IN ONE ROOM AT THE SAME TIME CAUSES ALL OF THE VOTING MACHINES TO SHORT OUT? Not sure. We must take our chances. Anyway, so Hessian, SEAX and Holy Filth are at Geno's tonight.

Please enjoy this footage of a Hessian concert. 

Please enjoy this footage of a Hessian concert. 

The other thing I want to go see tonight is The David Mallett Band at OLS. I know I often poke fun at the music-making-Mallett-men generally, but I shouldn't because those guys area all legit talented and doing their thing, and I appreciate that. Dad Mallett tho, first of all? Straight up hard core Rod Steiger in Jaws era 70's babe through and through, but also just, I mean, this song for shit's sake:

"The hard light of the truth of things is the only thing I fear," are you fucking kidding me? STOP BEING SO HONEST WITH MY HEART FEELS YOU DEVIL!!!! Also: it me. Me, all the time.

Also, tho, These Wild Plains are playing at Empire with Clara Junken. Why does all the good shit have to be on the same night?

Saturday, October 22

MMMmmmmmmkay. What is Kermit's Finger? That's new to me. Mathew's, what is happening here? Is Kermit's Finger a euphemism for some kind of sex act, like all the bands named after clams that are out there? Shannon and the Clams? Clamhammer? Clamfight? Johnny McPenis and the Ass Clams? All real, get off my jock.

Former Mainers now Californians Afraid are back in town at SPACE with Ada and Herbcraft.

Fuck, look at this lineup: Eldemur Krimm, The Tarantula Brothers, Barbecue and Gwynne and the Tonics are at Live at 212. I think finally that reason to get off my buttski and go to Live at 212 has mainfested itself.

Ugh, that's what I've got in me, turds. So pathetic, I know, THANKS Trader Joe's wine. But look, hey, look at me. LOOK AT ME. There's a place I like to hide, a doorway that I run to in the night. Relax child, you were there, but only didn't realize - and you were scared. It's a place where you will learn to face your fears, retrace the years, and ride the whims of your mind. Commanding in another world, SUDDENLY YOU HEAR AND SEE this magic new dimension! AAAAHHHHHH I'll be watching over you, AAAHHHHHHHHHH-HHHHHHAAAA I'm gonna help to see you through, AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH-AAAHHH, I'll protect you in the night AHAHHHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! I'm smiling next to you... in silent lucidity...