What the Fuck Should I Do Tonight: Weekday Edition!

Oh hey you, hey!!!

I’m in a great mood today, not that you give any shits about that but I’m going to tell you about it anyway.  

I’m just celebrating some small wins, you know, some simple pleasures in life.  What sort of simple pleasures, you ask?  Well fucking open your eyes man and walk outside.  Look up, look around you, it’s the best season of the year.  OF THE YEAR. The sun is shining but shit is CRISP AMIRITE? Do you have all your sweaters and shit all ready?  I don’t. I need to buy some sweaters.  Anyway, the weather, it’s so great, so that is a thing I’m enjoying. I got myself a carton of that chocolate almond milk this weekend and enjoyed the fucking crap out of it.  Oh god, I mean I really drank the living shit out of it. It’s delicious, and you know what it really is a real treat.  I saw some stupid good music this weekend from Oliver Waterman, Rural Ghosts, Tom Whitehead, Dan Capaldi, Samuel James, Frank Hopkins and some kids at that MAMM thing, I love watching kids being badass at something. People I know made some pretty great jokes this weekend, and I laughed at all of them like the greediest tourist at the all you can joke buffet.  I got to talk to an old long distance friend for a couple of hours on Friday night, I mean how lucky am I, I can’t even handle any of it. And I got to spend some time with a new friend who is fucking dope and is apparently comfortable enough with me to wear the same thing two days in a row, so that’s like a win for being in a new city and making new friends.  “Yeah, let’s hang, I’m not going to change.  I’ll change my shoes, I guess.”  That’s real, you guys, that is the realest shit.   

OH and also I finally got my hands on a copy of Johnny Cremains' Hollywoodland, and I also bought Oliver Waterman’s EP and Rural Ghosts’ album.  It’s all good shit.

If you’re not really a reader and skipped the above (what the… I mean what the fuck are you even doing here then? This is a blog, I feel like I’ve made it pretty clear that… you know what fuck it) I’ve recreated my weekend for you in animated gifs.  Enjoy.

Monday September 21

Poland Street House has Poland Street Presents: WORRIERS (NY), DIVA CUP, PHALLUS UBER ALLES.  Diva Cup and Phallus Uber Alles are both new Portland bands, the former being indie rock and the latter being “super hectic digital hardcore.”  Ok, let’s listen, I’m curious too.

Sure, why not. This kind of thing doesn’t jive with me, but not because of the content itself, this kind of music makes its way back around every 20 years or so (in the 90’s it was just called industrial in lieu of “digital hardcore” and it was, you know, on the soundtrack to The Matrix and shit) but rather because I prefer to wait a bit for the band to come together a bit more.  I’m the person who never really accused any band of selling out if they got super good at music and made a killer album that everyone loved.  Like that Daft Punk album from last year and all the people who love Daft Punk are like IT SUCKS and I’m like I’m sorry, it really doesn’t suck at all, in fact it’s really good and shut up.  I’ll never understand why so many people are obsessed with REM’s Chronic Town when Document is a far superior album with all of the same kinds of ideas, just fleshed out more and polished up a bit.  I mean I guess the raw ideas are cool, right, and that is what appeals to some people, that unbridled energy.  I see what these gals (and both bands are either all or mostly gals, hard to tell but YES, ladies of Portland, keep on keeping on) are doing, it’s cool shit but it’s still really raw.  So if any of you still care about knowing about shit before other people I guess this is a good ground floor hipster investment opportunity for some shit that will blow up in like a year or so if they stick with it.

Tuesday September 22

There is literally nothing happening on Tuesday.  All businesses are closing their doors and just calling it a wash for 24 hours.  Abandon all hope ye who enter here.  Incidentally, though, my cool friends from Seattle who are cool are coming here on Tuesday and it will be cool, so that’s cool.  Cool friend Jake is playing two shows while he’s here, the first on Thursday (see below) and then another on Sunday.  So you’ll have to check it out: jakecardenmusic.com. Just try to remember that everyone is still super into Soundgarden in Seattle and things will make more sense.     

Wednesday September 23

Micromasse is at PHOME as usual, and then um, uh… I guess Salvage is releasing a beer that night, they made a beer with Banded Horn Brewery, and then they also have Geeks Who Drink pub quiz.  So that’s something to do.  Anyone got anything for Wednesday? 

Thursday, September 24

Ok, back to it then.  Here on Thursday we have Doeboy's Lunchbox @ Oxbow, and I don’t really know anything about Doeboy, but here is their self-description from their facebook page: “Funked up music emitted by spontaneous orchestration that one must pack a lunch for.”  UM….. “for WHICH one must pack a lunch.”  YOU NEVER END SENTENCES WITH A PREPOSITION LIKE THAT GOOOOODDDDDDDDD DAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMIIIIIITTTTTT.  

I probably do that all the time.  It feels awkward here though. Anyway, so these guys also list their manager as Marklar and one of their interests as prancing, so I’m thinking this is a jamband.  You’ll just have to find out by going.  There’s plenty of room to prance at Oxbow.  

Will Bradford from SeepeopleS “and friends” (which means basically my cool Seattle friend cool Jake plus a “mystery guest”) will be at The Dogfish Company.  I will be at this obviously, and I think you should come down and drink with me and my cool Seattle friends and listen to Will and Jake.  Will does a lot of SeepeopleS songs acoustically and then some other originals - he recently wrote a song about that guy Mick Dodge, you know, the survival guy, and he plays that sometimes too.  It’s a great song and the chorus has a line that says “vampires waiting for the setting sun,” which I like to switch to “vampires shitting in the setting sun,” which: do vampires shit?  I feel like they never really addressed that on Buffy.  If you didn’t follow Jake’s link above, here it is again but also Jake has a wide range of music from just straight rock to ska and pop, but he wrote a song called “Dude, I Came in Your Mom” and it’s the song everyone requests when Jake plays in Seattle so if you want to be cool like cool Jake then you’ll request that of him at this show.

Here's Will playing "unplugged" (heh) with his bandmate/wife Brooke:

And Here's Jake doing "Take This Bottle" by Faith No More:

Hey. HEY.  HEEEEYYYYYYYY.

Your body is a wonderland.

Don’t drink and drive, jerks.