Ahoy Mateys! What did you do this weekend? Did you go out and just dance it out?
Or maybe you went to one of those foam parties like they have in Ibiza?
Was your cousin's bar mitzvah this weekend?
Or maybe you just marinated on the couch for 48 hours.
Well, however you spent your weekend, I hope it was like, the best one. The best one you've ever had. You're refreshed and feeling like a million bucks today. Right? RIGHT? K, here's some crap to do while you wait for Friday.
Monday August 17
My crack team of researchers tells me there isn't too much going on Monday, but usually we end up being wrong about that and there's like at least a few things I just didn't know about. That could be the case today, but if we're right, there's a real dearth of local music today (except for Mosart212 at Bramhall - this week with Kafari - but I mention that every week so I don't want you guys to get annoyed) so go over to Local 188 to watch 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea set to a psych pop soundtrack and enjoy some cheapie drinks and food. They say there will be "deep sea fare" and this makes me wonder what a kraken steak looks like. Kraken filet? I don't know, I mean I love kraken but I can't eat a whole one. If you can stay up past midnight on a Monday this sounds like a thing that is both happening and enjoyable. Or you could go to Model Airplane Mondays at PHOME. No, there will be no toys that require glue that will get you high, but there will be funk that will get you like, high, man. High on the funk.
Tuesday August 18th
Let's go to Oxbow for Purse and S.S. Cretins! I like S.S. Cretins quite a bit, they're sort of like what you might get if you dropped The Reverend Horton Heat, The Beach Boys and The Ramones into a magical blender in a Wes Anderson movie. Purse is a three piece indie punk band that says fuck you to the whole punk format by making long sprawling punk songs that have little narrative parts like a song off of Pink Floyd's Meddle might. Yes. Both of these bands have kickass ladies in them too, so if you won't go for me, go for feminism. Beyonce would do it.
Wednesday August 19th
FREEZERBURN15 is at Empire, who's been really killing it on Wednesday nights lately, and it's a sort of a showcase type thing with Tranx, Bright Boy, KTTN MTTNZ, Cybergiga, & Mike Clouds. I have only seen a couple of these guys, I absolutely love Bright Boy's music, and based on what I know, I guess what I would expect from this would be RIYL How to Dress Well, Twin Shadow or Autre Ne Veut. So, avant garde R&B, electronica and indie hip hop. And maybe freezer pops? Plus their poster is the shit and I wish I had made it. No tuff guys, ya hear!
Thursday, August 20th
Tonight, why don't we go to the most excellent PHOME for their Under the Influence series. Everyone that I've talked to about the fact that I'm writing about music in Portland has compared me to the person who wrote a blog called The Portland Point. I read that site and that guy was super mean so I hope that that's sort of just a superficial comparison (I LOOOOOVVVEEEE you and I so very much CAAARRREEE about you, you see), but he and a lot of his commenters complained about there being so many cover bands in Portland. I mean, I agree. That's been a thing for me for years, it really irritates me that, you know, some just-sorta-okay Grateful Dead cover band rolls through town and sells out a room but a group of extraordinarily talented musicians - local or otherwise - making original music play to like, their moms and girlfriends and the bartenders and whomever came in to sit at the bar before the cover charge kicked in, amounting to like 17 people total. Don't get me wrong, I love the Grateful Dead, that's not the point. The point is that it's easy to sell what has already been sold, and just like with politics, social issues, climate change and, oh, pretty much everything else, nobody wants to listen to anything new because we've all been told we're brilliant and are smart enough to self-educate on all topics and not listen to anyone else's anything. UNTIL it gets to the tipping point and it's like, uh oh, I better start liking that insufferable Macklemore guy because everyone else is doing it. But we are not that, we don't all have valid opinions about everything, we should listen more to new ideas and embrace change and take five minutes to open our earholes to something new. So I think that the Under the Influence series is smart and addresses this problem directly by offering both originals written by the players and then also covers of songs written by their influences. This week it's Kris Rodgers & The Dirty Gems, with influences listed as Ben Folds (!!!), Elton John, Leon Russell and more. How cool.