What the Fuck Should I Do Tonight: Weekday Edition

Greetings, humans!  It’s a long week and the only way to drown your sorrows is in the sweet, sweet sounds of some local bands and a locally made beer of your choosing.  I don’t drink beer really, except cheap beer because I am always broke and also I hate being bloated.  Craft brewers, I love you, but why does every beer have to eat like a meal?  Alright, here we go:

Monday: Model Airplane Mondays at H.O.M.E.

The Portland funk band plays the new House of Music and Events every Monday.  I haven’t been to this yet, but all of my musician friends love it, so there you go.

Tuesday: El Malo at Geno’s Rock Club

For two goddam american dollars, you can go see El Malo at Geno’s, drink cheap beer and get your cigarettes out of possibly the only remaining cigarette vending machine in America, wherein a pack of American Spirits is cheaper than anywhere else.  El Malo is ‘salsacore.’  Figure it out from the portmanteau.  

Wednesday: Open Mic @ the Dogfish Bar and Grille  

Yeah, I get it, nobody who once wore a chain on their wallet wants to hang out at the Dogfish because it’s kind of bro-y or something, but their open mic is helmed by a former radio station music director from Portland, OR and her loving stewardship of their open mics makes the night crazy good and fun.  Plus, no cover and you get to see a wide swatch of Portland singer/songwriters and one “featured artist” who plays a longer set.  

Thursday: Portland Jazz Orchestra at One Longfellow Square

Geez, take a night off already.  If you’re such a goddam try hard that you gotta get out into the night on Thursday, then start your weekend off with class and mellow with the Portland Jazz Orchestra and jazz ranging from contemporary to prohibition-era.  Potential for jazz flute: high.