Hello friends and merry Christmas to you! And if you don’t celebrate Christmas, well I hope you had a merry day yesterday anyway, considering that probably you wanted to do stuff but couldn’t because our primarily Christian capitalist culture limits your options on the high holy day here in America. You know what? GOOD. I hope you took a you day. You deserve it, do whatever you want.
Many of you will be out of town this weekend, tucked in at your ancestral homes, celebrating the retail industry I mean the birth of Jesus, but if you are in town, you’ll want to keep that revelry going and go out to see a show, already. It is summer, after all. I’ll be honest, I don’t have much for you today, I have had… I mean, I’ve had a lot of rum balls and bloody marys today. I’ve also had like six cups of coffee, two or three mimosas and a pile of egg strata and almond croissants that was taller than it was wide, and I was up until 3:30am listening to the rest of the adults watch Grateful Dead DVDs in the living room at full volume because apparently none of us have any interest in growing up and then the kids came down at like 7:30am and excitement-blasted me up off the couch so I’m essentially catatonic - but let’s do our best, shall we? My niece told me today that when you stop believing in Santa, that’s when you start just getting underwear for Christmas. Which I suppose is like her really great way to say that the magic gets sucked out of the holiday. So let’s extrapolate some advice from her nugget of wisdom and remind ourselves: hey. A little magic and a little suspension of disbelief goes a long way in all aspects of life. That’s why I keep the fire.
I was going to tell you that if you’re the counterculture type, you can start out your Saturday with a chai and a vegan brownie or some other goddam hippie shit at Local Sprouts and see Sea for Miles and Chips Maloy, but I now see that that's been canceled. Not sure if there's other music there or what. I guess you can go have your vegan baked goods anyway, whatever, I don't even care, even.
Keelan Donavan, a guy who I guess is from Portland but lives in Nashville now, has his "Home for the Holidays" show at PHOME. It's all ages, but anyone under 18 has to be accompanied by an adult. Keelan's web site has a video in which he wears a scarf and sings a song called "The Only One I'll Ask to Dance," and kind of steals Drake's "Hotline Bling" moves a little bit in an acoustic sensitive white millenial way. I'm sure everyone loves him.
Over at Port City Music Hall, Kenya Hall has her 6th Annual Tribute to Stevie Wonder - there's a pretty big coterie of local musicians banding together for this one and apparently there will be some fun special guests - if you can afford the hefty-for-a-Maine-income ticket price, this is of course what you want to go to because it will be bananas fun and also cover band shows get a pass on holiday weekends because your family is in town and you can't take Aunt Cindy to see Pink Sock or some shit. Your mother would be scandalized. Port City Music Hall has a coat check. Take your auntie somewhere with a goddam coat check, you piece of shit.
Also, a quick note on Stevie Wonder because he had a lot of radio hits in the 70's and 80's and that is typically what we associate with him, but his body of work is pretty vast and goes deep in a number of different directions and all of his albums are on Spotify - pretty fun to dive deep into 23 albums worth of music from this legend.
Another fun thing going on on Saturday is the Big Gay Christmas Drag Show at Studio 55 with Mimi Imfurst - there won't be any live music here but it looks fun as fuck so I just wanted to tell you about it.
I've been told a few times now that these posts are too fucking long and the four people who make up my readership are basically like tl;dr so I'll wrap this one up in a jiffy and simultaneously fight my urge to ramble on and sing my song, and I'll tell you about Five of the Eyes' Post Christmas Beach Party at Empire with Superorder and a band from Boston named GEPH. You can wear your summer beach party shit and maybe some of the band members will wear Speedos if we're lucky and all of this would be much more of like a "let loose and pretend its summer after weeks of freezing weather" situation if it hadn't been like 65 degrees for the last week, but you know, now it's sort of like a celebration of the bizarrely warm weather. What are you gonna do. What are you gonna do? Go drink a damn Mai Tai at Empire with these freaks.